I dreamed I held you in my arms Oct 8, 2019 3:28:26 GMT
Post by Fawn on Oct 8, 2019 3:28:26 GMT
Soft yelps and whines filled the first time mother's ears as she fondly stared down at the tiny forms of her pups. Eyes of dark, rustic brown to warm honey stared at her, as the varying shapes of the puppies filled her heart with warmth.
"Mama, mama!" One cried, nestling into her chest, "tell us about papa!"
For once, no sadness nor grief filled her heart. She didn't tilt her head away in guilt. She had forgiven herself long ago. She had moved on. Her scars didn't burn with shame as her pups looked upon their unsightly mother, nor did she flinch away in fear for them ever having to look at the ugly, pink flesh. Her jaws parted as she ushered them closer to speak a tale of the dog she once loved.
She was happy. She truly was.
But then, she woke up.
Brown eyes fell onto the cold, tiny bodies nestle against her stomach in a petrified stare, a harsh reminder that this was her reality. Medics whispered in her ears, trying to soothe the waking dog each time she forced herself from out her exhausted slumber, and terrified herself with the grim sight before her.
But, no longer did she cry into their shoulders and beg for them to 'fix' it. Instead, Fawn stared at their limp bodies. She had stopped wishing that, each time she woke, it'd be different. That she'd feel tiny paws wriggling against her stomach, and annoying whimpers in her ears. Because this was...her reality. Her life. Just as she had began to forgive herself, and allow herself to be happy, life gave her another cruel reminder of how...terrible it was. Why had she been so...foolish to believe that she deserved anything more than that?
Her precious puppies...they would never get to experience the life she'd struggled to give to them. The life she forced herself to continue living for their sake, even when she wanted nothing more than to lie and decay into the ground itself.
Did she not deserve to be happy? To forgive herself?
Exhaustion, pain, and grief began to blur her vision once more. Delusions tried to seduce her with the promise of dreams far better than this cruel reality. Her vision began to blur, as fresh tears started in her eyes. She felt guilty for wanting to be whisked away, back into the dream of a life that was never meant to be hers. "I couldn't...even give you names..I couldn't even hear you whimper for the first time. I never saw you take your first breaths..."
This...was all her fault. It always was. And it always would be.
Blinded by her sorrow, she didn't see the wisp of a white ghost, or the bare of teeth into a greedy sneer. This 'ghost' would wait for the griever to finish grieving. But, this 'ghost' would get her meal.
Tl;dr, Fawn went through premature labor due to internal injuries from her fight with diablo, and had a litter of stillborns.